Oscar’s search for family takes him to NZ

April 9, 2025

From a young age, Oscar wondered about his estranged family, but these thoughts were often associated with sadness. After entering care with CatholicCare in 2019, his team of workers became his substitute family. “Over the years, we have had many conversations about family, and what that means for Oscar,” April says. “When he arrived in our care, he was quite angry with his parents, and he had no interest in reconnecting.” Five years later, Oscar is deep in his ‘family finding’ journey, a journey that has taken him all the way to New Zealand. 

At a case planning meeting in 2020, Oscar mentioned that he wouldn’t mind reconnecting with his family. “This was a huge statement from Oscar,” April says. Until then, his cousin, Sarah, who he’d met by chance at the hospital, was the only family member in his life. “I immediately got started on family finding for Oscar,” April recalls. “It had now been 10 years since he had any contact with his parents and any other family member other than Sarah.”

April discovered that Oscar had an 8 year old brother named Noah on his father’s side, and Noah’s mother was very open to initiating contact with Oscar. Oscar was invited to spend Christmas with Noah last year – an incredibly special time for Oscar as it was his first Christmas with family since entering care.  

“It took me a little longer to track down Oscar’s parents,” April explains. “All of the phone numbers, emails, addresses and family information I had received had been incorrect. However, I was almost certain of the towns in outback NSW they were living in. I posted in community groups asking that if anyone knows Rebecca (mum) or Luke (dad), could they please pass on my details.”

Sure enough, the local service station owner helped. “Rebecca often comes through here to fill up her car on her way back into town,” he wrote back. “I’ll pass on your details when she next comes in.” 

A few months later, April received a phone call from Oscar’s mum, Rebecca. “She and her partner were initially hesitant to speak with us, but they softened once they realised we were not there to judge them, and that our purpose was to reconnect Oscar with family. The very next week we arranged a hotel for Rebecca and her partner on the Central Coast so that they could reconnect with Oscar. Bringing them together in person after so long was initially awkward, however, after an hour or two they warmed up, and they have kept in contact weekly ever since. He has plans to visit her soon.” 

Oscar’s journey towards reconnecting with his dad has been a little more complex and the process is ongoing. “When we eventually located Oscar’s father, he was very hesitant to rekindle his relationship with Oscar,” April explains. “I asked if he would at least entertain the idea of having a phone conversation with him, and he agreed. Oscar has been hot and cold about building a relationship with his father, but has recently expressed that he would like to.” 

Whilst all of this was going on, April was working hard to make Oscar’s dream come true of meeting his maternal side of the family in New Zealand. After many months of planning and liaising with the Department of Communities and Justice (DCJ), Oscar and April boarded a plane to New Zealand in June. “This was a relationship that Oscar had been wanting to build for such a long time, so he was excited but also understandably nervous that it wouldn’t meet his expectations,” April says. During his time there, Oscar got to meet several members of his extended family, and to say that the trip met his expectations is an understatement. “You could not wipe the smile off of his face for weeks after the trip,” April says. “He has remained in regular contact with family and he plans to visit again next year.” 

Reconnecting with family has played a pivotal role in the growth of Oscar’s sense of identity, confidence and self-worth. Reflecting on this family finding journey, April says, “It has been one of the most positive experiences of Oscar’s time in care, and an absolute career highlight for me.”